Received from the Stones........
......well, Jack anyway!                  

         YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD WHEN 


You're still chasing women but can't remember why.

You burn the midnight oil at 9 pm.

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

The best part of the day is over when the alarm goes off.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals

A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.

The little gray haired lady you help across the street is
                                                  your wife.

You sink your teeth into a steak. and they stay there.

Your pacemaker makes the garage door opener work when you
                                 watch a pretty girl go by.

You walk with your head held high trying to get used to your
                                              new bifocals.

You feel like the night before, but you haven't been
                                                  anywhere.

You decide to procrastinate, but you never get around to it.

Your children begin to look middle aged.

After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest
                           before applying the second coat.

Your mind makes contracts that your body can't meet.

You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning
                                    against the wrong wall.