THE BARRY PATCH IS INDEBTED TO DEAN ROADES OF 463 AUG FOR THE FOLLOWING CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE BARRY PATCH. 
 
OTHERS ARE INVITED TO CONTRIBUTE SO THAT THE BARRY PATCH CAN GROW & PROSPER.  
 
BITS and PIECES 
 
Other uses for the MODEM:

     Tape or glue your modem to your phone at work.  Convince your computer- illiterate boss that you are "using a modem" and the phone company can't charge for that call you made to Uncle Harry in Switzerland.
 
 
Dear Barry Patch Advisor,
     Please Help!!  The IRS is disallowing my deductions for care and shelter of orphans.  How can I convince them that my twins, ADAM and ADAM; the Timex brothers, TS1000 and TS1500; TI99; and Jr. (PC) are really dependent on me?
                     Signed -'In Deep in Indiana' 
Dear Deep,
     You made a couple of mistakes.  First the ADAM twins are fine.  Jr.  is also in the clear.  Next year refer to TI99 as just plain Ty.  The biggest problem is convincing them that anyone would name their kids after a watch!  Unload the Timex kids and you should be in the clear next year. 
 
BUT I WONDER IF YOU HAVE AN ADAM WHAT IN THE WORLD YOU WOULD WANT ANY OF THOSE OTHER INFERIOR IMITIATION COMPUTERS.  PERHAPS THE IRS COULD NTO BELEIVE ANYONE WITH AN ADAM WOULD WANT ANOTHER COMPUTER AND THOUGHT IT BEST TO INVESTIGATE YOU.
 
 
ADAM LAFFS 
 
Little ADAM was so proud of the red suspenders and tricycle he got for his birthday.  He was wearing his suspenders and riding his tricycle up and down the sidewalk when his neighbor pulled up in his 'Big Blue' Corvette. ADAM knocked on the door and said "Hey MAC, do you want to race?" Mac shook his head and pulled up a little.  ADAM knocked on his door again and said "HEY MAC, DO YOU WANT TO RACE?" Mac opened his door, gave ADAM a quarter and said "Go buy an APPLE or something.  Just leave me alone." Mac pulled away, but there was ADAM pedaling along beside him.  Mac sped up to 45 MPH and ADAM pulled out in front of him.  60 MPH and there goes ADAM, pedaling wildly, pulling ahead.  Mac punches it to 90 MPH! And there, pedaling in a blur, is Little ADAM out in front.
     A cop pulls Mac over to give him a ticket.  Just then, ADAM opens the door to the 'Vette.  Gasping for breath, ADAM says "THANK GOD someone stopped you!!  My suspenders were caught in your door!!! 
 
(Thanks to Marjorie Roades for this joke.) 

d suspenders and tricycle he got for his birthday.  He was wearing his suspenders and riding his tricycle up and down the 
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